I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
