Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize