at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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