Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
