Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
