I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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