Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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