I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
