we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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