Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I need water and some morals
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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