sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Randomize
