I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
She bit a glass in half.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
