After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
