Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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