Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Randomize
