you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
