so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
