Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize