friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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