you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Randomize
