I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
