I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
