1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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