it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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