I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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