Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
