yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
