Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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