i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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