Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
