id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Randomize
