I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
