it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
