The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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