i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Randomize
