ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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