You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
