Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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