i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
