that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
