You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
