the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
