So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
