Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
