Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
