so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
operation harelip BJ is a go
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
