if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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