I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
