was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
