therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
