i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
