chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
