tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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