god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
He had one of those small greek statue penises
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
They are going to name an STD after you.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
