Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
His nipple licking is glorious
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
