i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
